Man, I miss this guy. I miss him so much that it makes my stomach hurt and my eyes tear up just thinking about him.
Deployments are just hard. The day after Q deployed this time, I called my mom crying and I said, “No other job in the world takes your husband away for 4 months like this. It is SO unfair.” But I just had to deal with it. And I did and I have. And it still stinks, but I am managing it all: this house, my Masters, my job, Carl… and the list continues.
Every night before bed I count the number of remaining nights that I am alone. It started out a big number and has dwindled to a very reasonable number. And it’s how I deal with it all. I think, OK THIS long until he is back.This many more weekends alone. This many dinners alone. This many fun events I go solo to.
This past weekend, there was a Ranger Ball. All the wives dressed up and the guys were in their dress uniforms and it was such a fun night. My sweet, sweet girlfriend told me there was no way she was going without me as her third wheel. And my heart melted. The thoughtfulness and generosity and kindness of our friends is so heartwarming. And I went and I had a blast, but of course the whole time I was thinking about how much Q would have enjoyed it.
There is no harder job than being a military wife. I truly believe this. We are a force to be reckoned with. Ask another woman if they would give up their jobs every three years to move to a town (and not a fancy big town, think San Antonio or Columbus, GA) where they know no one and where their husbands will work from 6AM to 7PM most days and then they will leave for anywhere from 4 months to a year and let you keep up the house and raise the kids on your own. And it doesn’t stop for the next 20 + years. It’s an unbelievable role. Today is Military Spouse Appreciation Day. And boy, I appreciate these women I call my friends, because there is no one like us in the world. Strong, brave, solid women. And I am SO proud to be one, even when it hurts sometimes.
And if you want a fabulous new blog to read: Stephanie is an inspiration and a mentor figure for me. A wonderful mother and fellow military spouse.